Parent First, Friend Second
We all want our friends, family, and children to like us, of course. However, the role of a parent (or a coach) is ultimately to be a respected source of coaching. Your job is to make your offspring the best you possibly can.
Sometimes that makes you the bad guy. As long as you are always coming from a place of love, and respect, ultimately in hindsight, your children will appreciate all that you've contributed to them.
If, however, you take the easy route, and choose to be their friend first, and parent second, this can cause a loss of respect, and even long term resentment for your actions.
The phrase "Yeah, it's awesome, my Mom totally doesn't care if I (something other parents care about)" said to one's friends at the age they're at is nearly always a positive. Once a few years have gone by, however, all that remains is the belief that their Mom didn't care.
With that repeating cycle escalating throughout your child's life, they will likely be your friends off and on, but you will steadily lose the role of parent altogether. They won't respect your ability to handle the tough decisions, they won't appreciate all the negative results of you not caring (bad grades, poor health etc) and, ultimately, the end result is not what you're after.
While the taste of discipline and parenting can occasionally be bitter, like the veggies a parent would push upon a child that a friend would not, ultimately the healthy results are worth it in the long run.
This lesson was learned from our Mitra Castano interview
We all want our friends, family, and children to like us, of course. However, the role of a parent (or a coach) is ultimately to be a respected source of coaching. Your job is to make your offspring the best you possibly can.
Sometimes that makes you the bad guy. As long as you are always coming from a place of love, and respect, ultimately in hindsight, your children will appreciate all that you've contributed to them.
If, however, you take the easy route, and choose to be their friend first, and parent second, this can cause a loss of respect, and even long term resentment for your actions.
The phrase "Yeah, it's awesome, my Mom totally doesn't care if I (something other parents care about)" said to one's friends at the age they're at is nearly always a positive. Once a few years have gone by, however, all that remains is the belief that their Mom didn't care.
With that repeating cycle escalating throughout your child's life, they will likely be your friends off and on, but you will steadily lose the role of parent altogether. They won't respect your ability to handle the tough decisions, they won't appreciate all the negative results of you not caring (bad grades, poor health etc) and, ultimately, the end result is not what you're after.
While the taste of discipline and parenting can occasionally be bitter, like the veggies a parent would push upon a child that a friend would not, ultimately the healthy results are worth it in the long run.
This lesson was learned from our Mitra Castano interview
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