Honesty & Transparency
E.T.S.H.T.D. - Easy to say, hard to do.
We all say that we'll be open and honest with our loved ones... but what if we want to protect them from the harsh truth?
The truth of the matter is: Honesty, as cliche as it sounds, is the best policy.
To expect your children to be honest with you when you are anything but, is of course, a strategy (and a lifestyle) doomed to fail.
"But what if they're too young to hear the horrible truth?"
Life isn't always pretty, and sometimes the complex and the scary must be simplified for the youthfulness of the listener, but simplification, analogies, and examples are not lies.
If Mommy is sad, Mommy should explain why she is sad as best she can. If nothing else, but for the sage advice often found from children, who tend to look at the world with less jaded filters, and more solution-oriented outlooks.
Let's say you lose your job. What do you tell your child?
Well, they may not understand what a job is, but, they do understand what fun is, yes?
So, what if you took the time to explain to them the reasons you went to work (either in the past, or now) and that those reasons were so that the house stayed warm, their clothes smelled nice, and that the lights turned on, and that it made it so you could get them toys?
Would explaining to them that because you made a mistake you are sad because now the lights, the heat, their toys and other things of that nature would be rare? That, until you were able to find a new place to work, that you were sad that you would be unable to buy them a new toy?
Putting things like that towards a child is honest, helps them understand, and gives them a sense of power to help. "Don't buy a new toy, Mommy, I'd rather have the lights" is a really cool thing for a kid to be able to "give" to you. It makes them feel as though they have power to help, and make you feel better for a change.
E.T.S.H.T.D. - Easy to say, hard to do.
We all say that we'll be open and honest with our loved ones... but what if we want to protect them from the harsh truth?
The truth of the matter is: Honesty, as cliche as it sounds, is the best policy.
To expect your children to be honest with you when you are anything but, is of course, a strategy (and a lifestyle) doomed to fail.
"But what if they're too young to hear the horrible truth?"
Life isn't always pretty, and sometimes the complex and the scary must be simplified for the youthfulness of the listener, but simplification, analogies, and examples are not lies.
If Mommy is sad, Mommy should explain why she is sad as best she can. If nothing else, but for the sage advice often found from children, who tend to look at the world with less jaded filters, and more solution-oriented outlooks.
Let's say you lose your job. What do you tell your child?
Well, they may not understand what a job is, but, they do understand what fun is, yes?
So, what if you took the time to explain to them the reasons you went to work (either in the past, or now) and that those reasons were so that the house stayed warm, their clothes smelled nice, and that the lights turned on, and that it made it so you could get them toys?
Would explaining to them that because you made a mistake you are sad because now the lights, the heat, their toys and other things of that nature would be rare? That, until you were able to find a new place to work, that you were sad that you would be unable to buy them a new toy?
Putting things like that towards a child is honest, helps them understand, and gives them a sense of power to help. "Don't buy a new toy, Mommy, I'd rather have the lights" is a really cool thing for a kid to be able to "give" to you. It makes them feel as though they have power to help, and make you feel better for a change.
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