Democracy is key
If we look at the 6 human needs, significance is often high on the list, especially within the mind of a child. Being given a voice, and a vote, is a truly empowering step in your child's evolution.
Are we saying that if we all vote for cookies for dinner that we should have them? Well, not exactly. With the democratic approach, one must also take the education and discussion approach, as well. If cookies for dinner are, in fact, what they want - ideally they should be educated and questioned to the point where they decide that it isn't in their best interest to have said cookies.
Ultimately, yes, you're Mom. You do get to have the last say.
However, whenever possible, encourage discussion, and open debate. Find out why they want something you feel to be not in their best interest, and, whenever possible, explain to them why you feel how you do, and ask them how they feel, subtly influencing their world.
If you punish them every time your orders are questioned, they will begin to give your orders less and less weight as they seem less and less reasonable. While, in the beginning, that might train them never to question you... Ultimately, you are left with a spineless child afraid to question their environments who simultaneously resists EVERYTHING you say on INSTINCT.
This stunts creativity, individuality, self confidence, ability, and over all aptitude in life. And, makes them a... challenge to be around.
Too high a price for a few nights of peace and quiet? We think so too.
(Oh, and, just in case you're still tempted to swing the dictator role around... Those instant results you get at first? Compare them well to the repressed-emotion-turned-rebellion you find in the teen years!!)
This lesson was learned from our Mitra Castano Interview
If we look at the 6 human needs, significance is often high on the list, especially within the mind of a child. Being given a voice, and a vote, is a truly empowering step in your child's evolution.
Are we saying that if we all vote for cookies for dinner that we should have them? Well, not exactly. With the democratic approach, one must also take the education and discussion approach, as well. If cookies for dinner are, in fact, what they want - ideally they should be educated and questioned to the point where they decide that it isn't in their best interest to have said cookies.
Ultimately, yes, you're Mom. You do get to have the last say.
However, whenever possible, encourage discussion, and open debate. Find out why they want something you feel to be not in their best interest, and, whenever possible, explain to them why you feel how you do, and ask them how they feel, subtly influencing their world.
If you punish them every time your orders are questioned, they will begin to give your orders less and less weight as they seem less and less reasonable. While, in the beginning, that might train them never to question you... Ultimately, you are left with a spineless child afraid to question their environments who simultaneously resists EVERYTHING you say on INSTINCT.
This stunts creativity, individuality, self confidence, ability, and over all aptitude in life. And, makes them a... challenge to be around.
Too high a price for a few nights of peace and quiet? We think so too.
(Oh, and, just in case you're still tempted to swing the dictator role around... Those instant results you get at first? Compare them well to the repressed-emotion-turned-rebellion you find in the teen years!!)
This lesson was learned from our Mitra Castano Interview
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